Dear friends, I did not know Mr. Corpse. I do not know any of you, nor do I care to. I am just a humble funeral director, and I am charging a substantial sum of money to feed you a huge line of bullshit... so open wide my friends; your hearts that is. Yesterday, Mr. Corpse concluded his human experience. He considered this world to be a bizarre world in which he felt displaced. His life was a quest for knowledge, self-fulfillment, and self-actualization. This is just a sample of the bullshit that I am being paid well to deliver. Mr. Corpse was baptized into the Catholic faith against his will. He never adhered to its doctrines of resurrection, heaven, sin, and eternal damnation. He believed that the only way that the soul can achieve perfection is through reincarnation. If this is so, it would probably benefit mankind if the church reconsidered its stance against abortion. Mr. Corpse's affections were always misdirected toward the wrong women, and he was never able to find the ...

(Dreams and visions seem real)                                                                                                                        It all depends on how you feel                                                                                                                      (Dreams and visions feel real)                      ...

 Arthur is about six  and looks like Groucho Marx.He is rail thin and wears a train conductor's hat. Most days he sits on a stool at a small folding table  in front of the Chinese restaurant with a pot of tea. He has very long fingers and it's fun to watch him drink the tea from those small cups with his pinky sticking out.        Arthur is running for mayor ag this week so I thought I'd stop and congatulate him again.On his little table in front of the teapot was an assortment of Xeroxed flyers and stickers.Go Farthur with Arthur  was spray painted on the back of his tattered jean jacket.The flyers were free and the stickers were one dollar.All of the money goes to the Arthur for Mayor campaign.      After about an hour,Arthur,having finished his tea began gathering his flyers and stickers into a large worn black leather shoulder bag.I noticed that the buckle was missing but if I know Arthur, that buckle is broksomewhere on his per...

Chapters:                                                                                                Tone Deaf                                                                                              The Tonette                                                                                      ...