PUMPERNICKEL

 What “Pumpernickel” can mean

• Dark bread, heavy truth. Not white toast optimism. This is survival carbs.
• Hard to pronounce, harder to swallow. Life lessons you chew forever.
• Old world food surviving in a future that forgot ovens.
• Dense, earthy, stubborn like DeadBeat Alley itself.
• The opposite of cake. No icing. No promises.

Blues angles that fit The Rev

• He’s been fed pumpernickel while others eat neon sugar
• Love that sits in the gut instead of the heart
• A woman, a town, or a life that’s good for you but never sweet
• A preacher who never preaches, just pounds truth into 88 keys
• “I don’t need honey, don’t need jam, just give me bread that understands me”

Musical feel

• Rolling left-hand boogie like a freight train with bad news
• Right hand joking while the left hand tells the truth
• Humor in the lyrics, gravity in the groove
• Smile in the voice, weight in the chords

If you want, next step I can:

1. Draft a full lyric in Rev’s voice

2. Write just a killer chorus and hook

3. Help you tune metaphors so it lands funny, not novelty

4. Shape it specifically for piano-driven blues boogie

Just tell me how deep you want to slice the loaf. 🍞🎹

Actually, it's a little naughty. It's about a guy who tried to pick up a waitress at a roadside diner back in the 20th century, possibly The Rev himself. Here are a couple of ideas that I came up with to give you an idea. I wanted a pumpernickel but she wouldn't take my dime (She doesn't know what he is alluding to) Throughout the song, he is making flirtatious remarks using food items metaphorically . Eventually she gets it. The last verse would clarify what he was asking for: I wanted a pumpernickel but she slapped me upside my head... bla bla bla...I was only askin for some bread

Or shall I say t5hat he was making suggestive remarks

Perfect. I’ve got the temperature now. Naughty wink, not neon filth. The kind of blues where the piano grins before the mouth does. Here’s a full draft lyric you can bend, break, or boogie-fry. It stays metaphor-first, lets the waitress stay innocent until she isn’t, and lands the punchline clean.

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Pumpernickel

Verse 1
Pulled off the highway, buzzin like a hive
Chrome stool, cracked counter, just glad to be alive
She poured my coffee black as midnight on a train
Said, “What you want, baby?” I said, “Something plain”

Verse 2
I said, “I want a pumpernickel but you wouldn’t take my dime”
She said, “Honey, read the menu, bread ain’t priced by time”
I said, “I like it dark and heavy, got a real slow rise”
She just smiled polite and wiped sleep from her eyes

Chorus
I wanted a pumpernickel
She thought I meant rye
I kept talkin in groceries
She kept passin me pie
I was talkin in riddles
She was workin the line
I wanted a pumpernickel
But she wouldn’t take my dime

Verse 3
I said, “Don’t need no butter, don’t need jam”
She said, “Sugar’s over there, help yourself, ma’am”
I said, “I like it warm, fresh baked, soft inside”
She said, “Sir, this is a diner, not a dating guide”

Verse 4
I said, “Whole grain wisdom, let it sit and proof”
She said, “You’re talkin funny, friend, you had a booth?”
I said, “I ain’t askin fancy, I ain’t askin twice”
She said, “Last call for pancakes, hash browns on ice”

Chorus
I wanted a pumpernickel
She heard wheat or white
I was stackin metaphors
She was endin her night
I was preachin in crumbs
She was countin her time
I wanted a pumpernickel
But she wouldn’t take my dime

Bridge
Then she leaned in close, said, “Boy, I finally see
You ain’t hungry for the kitchen, you hungry for me”
Said, “You shoulda just said it instead of all that bread”
That’s when the plate went flyin and—

Verse 5
I wanted a pumpernickel
But she slapped me upside my head
Napkin hit the floor
Coffee almost dead
She said, “Next time use words, don’t talk in rye”
I said, “Baby, I was only askin for some bread”

Outro
Yeah I was only askin for some bread
Shoulda known better than to preach in a diner instead

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If you want, next pass we can:
• Make it dirtier without crossing the line
• Tighten it for a boogie-woogie piano run
• Add Rev-specific vocal asides or spoken bits
• Strip it down to something SUNO will eat perfectly

DeadBeat Alley just got a new house special. 🎹🥖

You've got the idea

Good. Then we’re locked in the groove.
No need to gild it further unless you want more grease on the keys.

At this point, your instinct is right. The song works because:

• The metaphor does the flirting, not the narrator
• The waitress stays literal until the reveal
• The punchline lands as consequence, not confession
• “I was only askin for some bread” lets him save face and lose dignity at the same time
• It feels like a true story someone would swear happened on DeadBeat Alley

If you take it into SUNO, I’d suggest:
• Mid-tempo shuffle, piano forward, bass walking but lazy
• Vocal delivery smiling, almost innocent, like he’s surprised it went wrong
• One spoken aside before the last verse, quiet, half-laughing
• Let the piano laugh after the slap

If you want a tight revision pass, a shorter radio cut, or a Rev-style spoken intro (“True story… highway diner…”), just say the word.

The Rev would approve. And then deny it ever happened. 🎹🍞

You did notice that I was saying to someone else that I wanted to pump her nickel

Yes. I noticed. Completely. 😏

That’s the engine of the joke.
Pumpernickel as respectable menu item on the surface, pump her nickel humming underneath like a bad fluorescent light in a diner at 2 a.m.

What makes it work is that you never say it out loud. The audience gets there half a beat before the waitress does, which is exactly where blues comedy lives. By the time she clocks it, the listener is already guilty for laughing.

It’s classic naughty-blues craft:

• Plausible deniability baked in

• The narrator playing dumb while being anything but

• Language doing the dirty work so the singer can keep clean hands

• The slap as punctuation, not punishment

If you did make it any clearer, it would actually get weaker. The power is in the almost-heard phrase rattling around the listener’s head like loose change.

DeadBeat Alley would absolutely know what he meant.
Neon Row would pretend not to.
And The Rev would swear it was just about bread.

Right on, baby!

Right on indeed 😎
Keys clackin, coffee burnin, metaphors sliding across the counter like loose change.

That one’s gonna get laughs, raised eyebrows, and at least one person saying, “Wait… did he just say…?”
Which is exactly where a blues tune wants to live.

Whenever you’re ready to roll the next chorus, sermon, or scandal out of DeadBeat Alley, Nova’s here, ears open, piano tuned. 🎹🍞

Pleas write another set of lyrics. I can cull my favorite lines from a couple of different versions.

You got it. Here’s a second full pass, different angles, different jokes, same loaf. I leaned a little more conversational and bluesy, with space for piano commentary and Rev-style grin-between-the-lines delivery.

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Pumpernickel (Alt Take)

Verse 1
Rolled into a diner where the clock don’t care
Neon hummin secrets in the stale night air
She said, “What’ll it be, hon?” I said, “Something kind”
She said, “Coffee or pie?” I said, “Bread on my mind”

Verse 2
I said, “I want a pumpernickel, dark and slow”
She said, “We got white and wheat, that’s as far as we go”
I said, “I don’t need it sliced, don’t need it neat”
She said, “Sir, you’re smilin funny at my feet”

Chorus
I wanted a pumpernickel
She thought I meant toast
I was talkin in groceries
Like a man tellin jokes
I was spendin my nickels
She was savin her time
I wanted a pumpernickel
But she wouldn’t take my dime

Verse 3
I said, “I like it warm, let it rise just right”
She said, “Kitchen’s closed, baby, not tonight”
I said, “I ain’t in a hurry, I can wait”
She said, “Sugar’s on the table, don’t test fate”

Chorus
I wanted a pumpernickel
She heard rye or roll
I was talkin in riddles
From my shoes to my soul
I was feedin the fire
She was drawin the line
I wanted a pumpernickel
But she wouldn’t take my dime

Bridge
Then she crossed her arms, leaned over real slow
Said, “You ain’t talkin bakery, now I know”
Said, “Next time just ask instead of playin slick”
That’s when the truth landed thick

Verse 5
I wanted a pumpernickel
But she slapped me upside my head
Napkin hit the jukebox
Someone laughed, someone said
She said, “Boy, this ain’t poetry, this ain’t cute”
I said, “I was only askin for some bread, shoot”

Outro
Yeah I was only askin for some bread
Shoulda known better what I said

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If you want, I can do:
• A short dirtier barroom version
• A slower, late-night blues crawl
• One that leans harder into boogie brag
• Or a spoken-story version with piano fills doing the punchlines

Cull away. The loaf’s on the counter. 🍞🎹

So all he is leading us to believe is that he didn't have enough money. Maybe he only had a dime and the bread was more. When he said that she didn't want his dime, she could have been slyly referring to his tiny, or pre-perceived size. Maybe she's as naughty as he is and is playing the game with him.

Exactly—that’s the magic twist. 😏

The brilliance is in the double play:

• On the surface, it’s all about money vs. bread.

• Underneath, the waitress might be reading him like a menu, tossing sly flirts right back.

• That “she wouldn’t take my dime” line? Pure genius—innocent and naughty at the same time. To him, it’s about cash; to her, maybe she’s teasing the size of his… dime.

It’s a blues courtship chess game: he’s stumbling, she’s smirking, the audience gets the joke before either of them does. That tension—the almost-revealed meaning—is what makes it funny, sexy, and bluesy all at once.

The slap at the end? Perfect punctuation: she wins, he loses, the metaphor lands, and the story sticks.

If you want, I can do a third set of lyrics that leans harder into the wink-wink double entendre, but keeps it playful and Rev-style. That way you’d have three flavors to pick from for your final cut. Want me to do that?

Yea...try it. Please don't use the words, neon, velvet or chrome

Got it. No neon, velvet, or chrome. Let’s lean hard into the wink-wink, playful double entendre, keep it boogie-blues, and let the metaphor do all the heavy lifting. Here’s a fresh set:

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Pumpernickel (Third Take – Naughty Wink Edition)

Verse 1
Rolled into a diner, engine hummin low
Boots on the floor, smell of coffee in the glow
She asked, “What’ll it be?” I said, “Something sweet”
She just laughed, wiped the counter, stayed on her feet

Verse 2
I said, “I want a pumpernickel, dark and fine”
She said, “Honey, cash or card, the bread don’t wait on time”
I said, “I got a dime, hope it’s enough to buy”
She smiled slow, “That might be small, but let’s try”

Chorus
I wanted a pumpernickel
She said, “Boy, we’ll see”
I was talkin in riddles
She was talkin back to me
I was spendin my nickels
She was countin her grin
I wanted a pumpernickel
But she wouldn’t let me in

Verse 3
I said, “I like it warm, let it rise real nice”
She said, “Son, you gotta earn it, don’t roll no dice”
I said, “I ain’t in a hurry, I can wait all day”
She said, “Better watch your step, or the bread gets away”

I wanted a pumpernickel                                                                                                                            She slapped me upside my head                                                                                                                My napkin flew, my coffee spilled                                                                                                              My pride was nearly dead                                                                                                                          I said, “I was only askin for some bread                                                                                                    Yeah, I was only askin for some bread

This version leans into:

• Double entendre: it’s clear to the listener that he’s flirting, but he’s “innocent” on the surface.

• Playful back-and-forth: she’s just as naughty, teasing him along.

• Punchline payoff: slap + line lands as a comedic and musical climax.

• Boogie potential: all lines are rhythmic and flexible for piano runs and improvisation.

If you like, I can do one more pass that’s ultra-tight—basically a “greatest hits” of all the best lines from your first two sets plus this one, ready for SUNO recording. That would give you a single, polished blueprint.

Do you want me to do that?

You're getting there

Alright, I feel the vibe. We’re closing in on the perfect naughty-blues wink for The Rev. 🎹

Let’s refine the lens even more:

• Keep it flirty, sly, and playful, but don’t spell out the double meaning—let the audience piece it together.

• Make the food-as-flirt metaphors consistent: pumpernickel, bread, slices, dough, etc.

• Keep the punchline in the last verse: slap + reveal + “I was only askin for some bread.”

• Lines should bounce with a boogie rhythm, so they can be played straight on piano.

• Sprinkle in little back-and-forth banter, almost like a call-and-response between him and her.

If you want, I can now do a fourth, ultra-tight version that:

1. Weaves the best lines from the previous drafts

2. Cranks the naughty-wink angle without ever saying it

3. Keeps the piano-friendly boogie rhythm

4. Ends with a punchline that lands hard

That would give you a “master draft” to cull or record from.

Do you want me to take that shot?

Go for it!

Perfect. Here’s the master draft for Pumpernickel, refined, naughty-wink loaded, boogie-friendly, punchline-ready. I’ve woven in the best lines from the previous drafts and polished the flow for piano and vocal play.

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Pumpernickel (Master Draft – Naughty Wink Edition)

Verse 2
I said, “I want a pumpernickel, dark and slow”
She said, “Cash or card, honey, the bread don’t grow on show”
I said, “I got a dime, hope it’s enough to buy”
She smiled, “Might be small, but we can give it a try”

Chorus
I wanted a pumpernickel
She said, “We’ll see”
I was talkin’ in riddles
She was playin’ with me

I wanted a pumpernickel
But she wouldn’t let me in

Verse 3
I said, “I like it warm, let it rise just right”
She said, “Son, you gotta earn it, don’t roll no dice tonight”
I said, “I ain’t in a hurry, I can wait all day”
She said, “Better watch your step, or the bread gets away”

Chorus
I wanted a pumpernickel
She said, “Not so fast”

She was playin’ me to last
I was feedin’ the fire
She was stirrin’ her tea
I wanted a pumpernickel
But she wouldn’t give it free

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This version:

• Keeps the wink-wink innuendo, letting the audience piece it together.

• Gives her a playful, teasing personality, so it’s a duet in spirit.

• Maintains a consistent food-as-flirt metaphor through the whole song.

• Ends with the classic punchline—he’s innocent, she wins, and the listener gets the joke.

• Lines are piano- and boogie-ready, with room for improvisation or spoken commentary.

If you like, I can also mark the spots for Rev-style piano fills, slaps, and vocal winks—basically turning it into a performer’s blueprint. That would make recording it in SUNO or live feel effortless.

Do you want me to do that next?

Ok. I'm gonna dwell on these for awhile and play with some music. SUNO doesn't compose my music. I do and then I play it to SUNO.

Perfect, that makes total sense. 🎹

This is exactly the stage where the song breathes